Gas lighting is a word that was etymologically coined by the British stage play Gas Light, which was produced as a mystery thriller movie. In the movie, the husband Gregory manipulates Paula and makes her feel insane.
Manipulatively, Gregory makes her wife believe she stole something without realizing the actions and mystery that happens every night when her husband's departure is marked by the "gaslights", and her husband convinces her that the gaslights are in her head. This creates self-imposed doubts in the woman about his reality.
Gas lighting is an emotional abuse where someone tries to control you by convincing you to doubt your experience of reality or even your sanity. False information is supplied with the goal of confusing a victim in the form of psychological abuse.
Usually, it can be conceptualized as husband or wife, but sometimes it could revolve around romantic partners or friends.
It doesn't seem necessary to be one person. It could be one person or more than one person.
The most common types of gaslighting are mainly intimate and tribal gaslighting. Tribal gaslighting is when the person's reality is denied by a family member or a co-worker, while intimate gaslighting is when the manipulation is done by the intimate partners.
According to studies, narcissistic personality disorder sufferers, abusive people, cult leaders, criminals, and dictators frequently use gaslighting.
Of recent, the term gaslighting has been taking centre stage both in Hollywood and in political statements of highly profiled global leaders, triggering wide attention and research on the new topic.
In 2020, the former First Lady of America, Michelle Obama, accused Donald Trump of "gaslighting" the American people. In her own address, Michelle Obama said, "He continues to gaslight the American people by acting like this pandemic is not a real threat."
Gaslighting is quite a sign of narcissists, and gaslighters are often engaging in and out to protect their fragile egos to keep the world in their own reality, with little regard for how much it hurts another person.
One of the fricking natures about gaslighting is that gaslighters do not actually realize their actions are detrimental to the receiving end.
According to Narcissism expert Ramani Durvasula gaslighting can come into a form of deflection where a person feels less guilty about their mistake and shifts the blame to other persons.
She says gaslighters are sometimes inspired by the inert negative energy, and most often, they don't realize what they are doing.
"Narcissists are singularly motivated to protect themselves and their reality or their version of reality. And so when they gaslight not like…. I gonna manipulate this person. It's like an evil genius kind of thing. It's a fact they have no empathy, so they don't stop to think about what this kind of conduct would do to another person. They are entitled so that they feel they have the right to do it, and they are fragile."
Ways to diffuse a gas lighter
Defiance and firmness
The main target of a gas lighter is to make the victim doubt their reality as they avoid accountability, so to slowly create an environment where you are going to depend on them. This can only be combated by standing firm and believing in your feelings, and staying true to your personal conviction. That is to say what "you heard about", "what you saw", and "what you feel".
Recognizing that the manipulator will never accept the wrongdoing and respond to the activities despite the energy invested by the victim to get his or her voice heard. With this recognition, you are no longer disempowered by chaos, confusion and scepticism.
Developing healthy detachment
It's critical to strike a balance when detaching from gaslighting, but it's also necessary to understand that doing so doesn't need complete detachment.
It means distinguishing the world of a gaslighter and the real world. In this way, you can let people have different facts, but you need to stick to reality.