Who was your dream partner? Probably a mature and accountable person. Do you feel you are completely deprived of your happiness as you now live with an immature and irresponsible partner? An immature and irresponsible partner indeed complicates life in the family. You cannot rely on his/her services, but you neither can live as if he/she is not there. Here are some ways to deal with your partner that can help you make him/her mature and responsible.
1. Never belittle your partner
You make a huge mistake if you spend most of the time reminding your partner that he is the unworthy person in the family. You are making him/her ashamed inside. You are pushing him/her to develop an inferiority complex. Finally, he/she will never become mature and responsible because he/she feels worthless and small.
2. Avoid pinpointing your partner’s failures
Do you keep pinpointing your partner’s weaknesses? Your partner may feel less important and may withdraw all his/her efforts from the life of the family.
Take his/her failures as yours and support him/her to find the best alternatives. Show him/her that you are by his/her side even if he/she repeats the same mistakes. You should have immense patience to make him/her responsible.
3. Trust him/her with certain family duties
The best way to help your immature and irresponsible partner is not to keep him/her away from all family tasks. He/she may feel obsolete. Trust him/her with some family duties and ask him/her for accountability. Maybe you ask yourself the way someone without a commitment spirit may be trusted. However, if he feels he or is trusted again despite his/her previous drawbacks, next time he/she pays more attention and makes a certain effort to be better. The mistake people often do is not to see such effort, smaller it might be! Otherwise, the more you doubt him/her, the more aggressive, negligent, and immature he/she becomes.
4. Appreciate his/her contribution
Your partner might produce smaller inputs in the family. Please, value it right if you want your partner to grow mature and responsible. In your conversations, you should identify them and speak up about their important value to the family. Consequently, your partner will feel well talking to you as you are not hostile to his/her work.
5. React with friendliness
You want your partner to help you bear the family burden. But it seems to never happen. He instead does stupidities. You unfortunately fight for your family alone. You are about to crack down! How do you react to your immature partner’s mismanagements? Do you argue with him/her because of his/her irresponsible actions? Do you often tell him/her that he is irresponsible and foolish? You make a huge mistake. Your harsh words and blames will not change your partner.
The best way of correcting your partner is to accompany him/her as your best friend. You must walk and work together as best friends. Show him/her that you are a mature person. Dealing with an immature and irresponsible partner requires patience, love, and compassion.
6. Do not humiliate your partner before your kids
It is extremely dangerous to tell or show your kids that their father/mother is the unworthy person in the family. Whatever mistakes your partner may do, never involve your kids to punish him/her. It may create unhealable wounds inside his/her heart to see his/her children treating him/her as worthless. You should better plan together about their wellbeing independently of who is responsible and accountable. Trust me, your partner will make efforts to prove to his/her kids that he/she is a caring person, ready to protect them. Ask your children to show respect and trust.
7. Do not make him/her a poor person by depriving him/her of all his/her money
Is your partner a bad manager? Does he/she unconsciously spend all the money in his/her pocket? Does he/she forget the family’s financial obligations as far as he/she gets the money? What are your responses? The best solution is not to deprive him/her of all his/her money. That creates a dependence mindset and prevents him/her from being mature and responsible. You should take time to remind him/her about the family’s financial issues always at the right time when you know he is about to get money.
Insist that he/she should fulfil his/her financial obligations, however, let him/her decide. If he fails to meet his/her financial commitments, do not be enraged. Do not drain him/her of cash completely as it makes him/her feel impoverished and angry. You should be patient and tolerant.
8. Admire him/her publicly
Every person feels well when s/he is appreciated in public. Try your best to find the best actions resulting from his/her previous efforts and appreciate them in front of your friends, relatives, and acquaintances. Do not exaggerate or tell lies to please him/her. Appreciate the good achievements as they are. Leave out the failures to avoid frustrations. As he becomes aware that his/her value is recognized publicly, his/her self-esteem will grow bigger.
9. Do not compare him/her with others
Comparison of your partner with others may make him/her feel insignificant. Never make belittling comments about him/her comparing him/her with them. It is useless.
10. Be his/her ardent ally
Your partner is in a life struggle. You may think because he/she does not change as quick as possible, he/she is not willing to change. However, the happiness of any person lies in his/her ability to fulfil his/her responsibilities. Thus, your partner cannot feel happy with his/her failures and defeats. Understand that he/she is struggling with them. Be his/her ardent assistant. Make him/her a great person in family matters.