It is believed that break-up is caused by certain reasons, some are believed to be serious while others are considered baseless and tolerable.
In some cases, a number of people who broke up manage to reunite after a certain time of their breakups and others cannot.
Various people assume that it is not possible for a human being to change their behaviour and that once you try to reunite with your partner, there is little chance that the previous problems will not occur again.
If the separation has been a learning opportunity of the weakness you had in your relationship, this can be a better opportunity to correct the errors and regenerate the union.
This article will detail the most important reasons why people break up and how you can reunite with your ex after discovering the real reasons for your separation.
The reasons for breaking up
After a time of separation, one will have several questions in regards to the past. Some of those questions are what are the reasons for our break up, what did I do wrong? how can I change my wrongdoing? And what does society think and say about our union and separation?
Asking yourself or remembering what went wrong in your relationship so that it can be corrected is a great step.
If you remember that the separation was due to a good reason or that you were right to decide so, ask yourself again if that mistake cannot be corrected by your lover.
When you think about reuniting with your lover, you will need to have more thinking about what could have led to your separation. You have to think whether it was due to your mistakes or misbehaviours, to your lover or the cause may be from the outsider.
If time allows and your ex also can grant you the opportunity to meet up, why can’t you have a meeting, recall together what went wrong and try to see how it can be rectified?
1. Your ex cannot meet the expectations
The relationship can be a situation where one is expecting several things to be able to be happy and have peace.
There are situations where, one cannot meet what was expected in the relationship, and in some cases, this is not going to be revealed to you for fear of hurting you. The only decision that had to be taken was to quit and stop the bonds between you.
In this case, it might be difficult for you to figure out how you can fulfil your lover’s expectations if you have no hint about what was the motive of your ex entering the relationship.
It is also not easy to deal with this issue, especially when your lover didn’t openly tell you the reasons for the separation.
Sometimes, lovers don’t talk about what they expect from each other because this can create pressure on the side of the person who has to fulfil the lover’s expectations.
2. You are no longer attractive
Physical appearance is one of the main causes of getting engaged in a relationship and is also one of the main causes of separation.
There are cases when your physical appearance changes and you no longer look attractive to your lover as you were in your first dating days.
When this happens, your partner may start looking for other attractive appearances around and this may lead to your separation.
It is time to go in the mirror and check if you are still attractive to your lover, and if not, remember the efforts you were using to stay nice-looking before and do that again since your appearance matters a lot in your relationship.
Some of the reasons that make people lose their attraction are the problem of weight and style. Do not allow your body to gain too much weight or lose too much weight, to the extent that you can look different than how you looked in your first days of dating.
Try also to keep your fashion and style, do not stop putting on your nice clothes because you feel you have got your lover, always look pretty.
The attraction in a relationship can also be linked to your status, the way you perform at work, at school and in your everyday activities.
If you are not performing well at school or at work like before, this may trigger your partner to think about your level of responsibilities.
Sometimes, work causes stress and this stress can also affect the way you interact with your lover.
The way you manage this stress and find time for your partner will determine how engaged you are.
3. The expected emotional needs were not met
When everyone starts to be in a relationship, there are emotional needs that are expected from the lover.
Sometimes you may think that everything goes well in a relationship, but there might be small things that are left unsettled.
You have to always make sure that nothing from your lover is taken for granted because this may instigate emotional pains.
Try to always check if the attention you used to have in your first dating days is still the same. Make sure that you still call and text your lover the way you used to do it before.
Keep on thinking about the time you used to avail to your lover and see if you have not started giving time to other people than your lover.
Are you still romantic like before? When your relationship doesn’t have the same intimacy as before, this is a problem that you have to deal with.
Since intimacy is the foundation of a healthy relationship. You should always consider thinking and taking care of your lover as you used to do before.
Are there fights and arguments in your relationship, if yes, find a way of addressing them before they damage your union.
Always check if the emotional support you used to provide to your lover is still the same. You should always care for and support the passion, feelings and goals of your partner since this support fulfils the emotional needs that were looked for before the relationship.
Always, let your lover feel secure that you will always be close and available when needed. But this doesn’t mean that you will also have total control of everyday life because your partner needs a bit of autonomy.
If you are the kind of person who always demands the whereabouts, the passwords of the social networks of your lover, making the decision on their behalf, know that this can make your lover nervous and try to avoid you.
4. Incompatibilities in relationship
The relationship demands a level of compatibility on certain things, and when the two of you have reasons for incompatibilities in those important things, it became difficult to have a long-lasting relationship.
Some of the things that you two need to agree on and have a common understanding are your choice of religion, privacy, travels, fitness and health as well as the management of your two extended families.
Are you having the same sex as the one you used to have before, Are the sexual acts performed as good as before? You have to think about all of this and see if something went wrong.
If you want to reunite with your lover, then take time to fix this and make a commitment yourself on how to improve and keep your new decisions.
5. The trust in you has lessened
Once you trust your lover, the relationships become sweet and the attraction, comfort, and caring grow.
If there are things that lead to the decrease of trust by your lover, know that it is the cause of your separation even though you were not informed about this.
There may have been times when you were caught lying, you may have failed to deliver your promises or you may have made incidents that your lover cannot forget.
It is time for you to revisit your past and see if you can change all that and then commit before you think about reuniting with your ex.
Conclusion
In a relationship, everything is possible since relationships defer. Once you have broken up, it is not the end of the world, it does not mean that it cannot be back again.
You only need to understand the reasons for the separation and make a tough commitment toward fixing your mistakes and then you can try to take an important step of getting back your ex.